219/365


219/365

LAMB:  The past few days have been the most challenging days I have ever experienced as a parent. You have been pushing the boundaries like never before. You seem to be sticking firm to the notion that any sort attention is good just so long as you get attention. I don't know how much of this is just a developmental stage or how much, if any, is because you are feeling threatened by the attention your baby brother is receiving. I wish I could say that I dealt with it well, I wish could say that I handled it with compassion and levelheadedness. The horrible truth is that I didn't. I let you down. I did and said things I wish I hadn't. I know no one is a perfect parent, I know this mothering gig is tough, so I try not to beat myself up too much. But for the first time I feel utterly ashamed of myself, I feel I could have and should have done better. Not once did I get physical with you but I said some things in anger that I truly regret. Of course, being the beautiful, compassionate, loving soul that you are all has been forgiven and forgotten in your eyes. But the thing is, you deserve better.