Childhood Unplugged: August

childhood unplugged:
AUGUST
Change. I've got to say, I'm not really a fan. And I'm not great with
dealing with my emotions as they arise. I'm more of a 'suppress and bury
them deep down until the bubble up from my subconscious in scary ways
six moths or even years later' sort of person. Not being able to deal
with my baby growing up and going to school (and just the general
impermanence of everything) has been taking a toll on me lately.
On the weekends we go out and about and everything is almost like it
used to be. Almost. We have those two brief days of mulling around,
getting up late and maybe taking an afternoon trip to the beach. But
there is always that moment come Sunday afternoon when I remember that I
have to return her to school the next day and I suddenly feel a bit
melancholy. I miss her. I miss her childhood. Even her brother springs
back to life when they are reunited at the end of a long school day.
That's not to say that I'm not happy for her or proud of her. I'm so, so
proud of her. And I'm excited for whats still to come. It's just hard
letting go, you know? It's undoubtedly been the hardest part of this
whole motherhood thing thus far.

















I cried every January when Christmas vacation was over. I loved having them home and hated having them go back AND I hated taking down the decorations because it meant it was all over.
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